Into the void
by fourwalls
Summary: A continuation of the story Shoot 'Em Up. Something was drawing them to each other, they don't think it's love. YamatoxAnko
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Into the void

This is a continuation of my story **Shoot 'em Up, **but it takes on a more serious tone of the consequences of the events of that story. This story can stand on it's own.

* * *

_To her, he was a beacon of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. He was the strength she strived to achieve, the courage she wished to possess._

_He was the sun, while she the tree that grows by his light. Be he's too damn far to reach._

She always leaves after. Not that Tenzo cares much about it, but lately it had been bothering him. The two of them had reached an unspoken agreement after the night Anko invaded him in the confines of his silent sanctuary, his apartment room. They were satisfied.

That was what they wanted to think. At least they had each other to fill their needs.

He silently watched her in the shadows of his bedroom as she slowly went to sit on her bed. His eyes trailed at her bare back, though he had seen this multiple times now. He followed the course of her spine until his sight rested on her neck, on that familiar mark that she once told him was a curse. He tried to ask more, but she didn't answer his queries. She was obviously pained just by the mention of it.

So he never asked of it again.

During the previous nights, he wouldn't really mind or bother to notice the brand on her neck. But how could he not notice it now when she rubbed her fingers against it, nails digging in, as if trying to force the mark from her skin. It was both a hating and loving gesture, Tenzo observed.

Anko started to turn toward him, and Tenzo instinctively closed his eyes. It was a private moment for her that he did not wish to intrude, or would not want to be caught spying. He did not know if Anko knew he was awake, like he always was when she wakes up in the middle of the night, or if she really thought he slept that soundly. He doesn't really care. They got what they wanted, so they take what they can. They cannot afford to be picky. No, not in this kind of life.

He felt Anko release a sigh of breath and felt the mattress shift, as it was unburdened by her weight. Tenzo slowly peered to see her putting on her clothes, his lips tugged slightly upwards as he watched. She had a nice body, many shinobi would say, and he could testify. But despite her vulgar attitude, there was not so many who could tell the tale that they had slept with her. It was either she scared them to death not to tell, or she doesn't just jump to any man's bed. Tenzo likes to think it was the latter, since she never threatened him even once.

She walked towards the window and peered out, probably looking if the coast is clear, not that it was much of a secret. It was more of a habit that has grown on a shinobi or for Anko, a kunoichi's skin. She left it open when she came, like she always does. His explanation was that so she would not need to open it in the aftermath and cause some noise to awaken him, not that Anko cannot open a window soundlessly. She was perfectly able to do that, and much more. She probably just wouldn't want to be bothered by the effort.

Tenzo had been asked several times by his comrades, why keep such a 'relationship'? He would immediately think of convenience. Besides, ninjas were encouraged not to have their emotions overwhelm them, or not to get attached at all. In a sense, they were only living up to the shinobi standards. It was discouraged, but not forbidden, to have romantic involvement with comrades, especially being an Anbu. But they never considered it a relationship, they don't even think of each other as friends, or he thinks that is how Anko feels. He is not particularly inclined to go that road either, lest they dig up skeletons they hid in their closet. And there is one significant skeleton they have in common; a part of their past neither would want to dig out, nor let go.

Needless to say, they were at an impasse that neither would want to cross. It also served them both for the best.

Anko was now silently climbing on the window sill, but she suddenly stops. Her back was to him that he cannot see her face. She was staring blankly at the distant horizon. It seemed that there was something in her mind. She again started to turn toward him but stopped midway, and he saw her slump. He observed as her hands grip tightly on the wooden panelling of his window. He couldn't read what her actions meant, but this was not the first time this happened.

After a few moments, she regained her bearings and jumped out of the window.

Tenzo sat up from his bed, and ran a hand through his hair. He felt something, nothing he can describe, but it was surely not pleasant as he looked around his dark empty room. Was it disappointment? No it wasn't, but be wasn't yet ready to admit yet what he really felt. He was accustomed to it, being alone almost all of the time. Their life was defined by it.

But there was one thing that did bother him as he went back to lay on hi bed; _Did she just hesitate by his window?_

God, he was getting tired of this charade.

-o-

Kakashi tore his eyes away albeit forcefully from the very entertaining Icha Icha Tactics he was reading, to the look at the source of the sound of the swirling liquid and the metal scraping bowl. He wouldn't have minded this if he was only hearing it a few times, but it has been going on for a good ten minutes now. He let the obscene book rest on the counter as he looked at Tenzo sitting next to him, stirring at his bowl, virtually not touching his meal. He had a far off expression on his face.

The copy nin coughed to get his attention.

Tenzo lifted his head, which was resting on his palm, as he looked at Kakashi.

He just eyed the bowl, with his only visible eyes.

"Not hungry." His Kohai informed him.

"I can tell." Kakashi answered.

Tenzo sighed and started to eat the meal he ordered, without any real ardour. He just looks like he's mechanically putting things in his mouth and chewing on it.

Obviously, something was bothering the younger captain, but Kakashi knows better than to ask. If Tenzo wanted to talk about it, he would have done so. If he didn't, there is little he could do to make the wood man talk.

_This calls for a private drinking session_, he thought. His mind went back to the last time they got Tenzo drunk and thought better of it. There had to be another way.

Kakashi noticed that the younger shinobi had finished eating and was looking at him sharply. He then noticed the bill that was placed between the two of them. He eyed it anxiously then looked to his kohai who was glowering at him expectantly.

Kakashi put the book back to his jacket pocket, then turned to look at Yamato with a spark in his eye. "Did you know that among my underlings you were the best, and I trusted you the most?"

Tenzo lifted a brow up and looked paused as if he was affected by what Kakashi had said, then proceeded on rolling his eye. "That won't work like the last ten times you tried it."

"At least I tried." Kakashi deflated.

He still did not pick up the bill.

Tenzo crossed his arms against his chest defiantly. Kakashi looked towards the ceiling as if something about it was suddenly so interesting, and rested his chin on his palms.

The owner of the restaurant was frowning at both of them and eyeing the bill as well.

After a few minutes Tenzo shook his head in defeat. "You're pathetic, you know that right?"

"Thank you." Kakashi replied as he stopped looking at the ceiling.

They were walking on the crowded streets of Konoha, the silence between them was awkward, or so Kakashi felt. He looked at the depressing man next to him who was walking silently and only looking at his foot.

This has got to stop. Maybe talking is not a bad idea.

"So..." Kakashi started uncomfortably, "what's up?"

Tenzo just shrugged his shoulders, eyes still on the ground. "Nothing much. You?"

"What is this, a chat room?" Kakashi deadpanned. "No, really, what is up with you?"

"Nothing Sempai, I am perfectly fine." Tenzo lied. Even without his sharingan, Kakashi can tell.

Silence stretched between them. The copy nin tried a different tactic.

"You want to go somewhere?"

"Are you asking me out for a date?"

Tenzo was really good at avoiding topics when he wanted to, Kakashi knew too well, but he won't let him win, not this time.

"If it's okay with you? The new motel sounds promising."

"Sorry sempai, you're good looking and all, but I don't swing that way." Tenzo finally lifted his head from his gloomy stance and gave Kakashi a friendly sardonic smile.

The next thing Kakashi notices was that the people around them were looking at him funny, and some of the men, were actually looking hopeful. They were giving him meaningful looks and eyeing him up and down, sizing him and, almost communicating it to him that if he needs action, they were more than willing.

Kakashi crinkled his eye in a nervous smile and scratched his head. They knew he was kidding right?

Tenzo just giggled beside him. Kakashi glanced at him wearily.

His kohai threw his hand up and shook his head. "Don't blame it on me, you set yourself up to it."

Kakashi sighed and straightened from his slumped position. "Fair enough. Why don't we take a walk."

"We are walking."

"You know what I mean."

It was Tenzo's turn to slump. "You are not letting this go, are you?"

"Uhmmm... No."

"You're impossible." Tenzo muttered as they turned the corner.

"Oi, Kakashi!" said a familiar voice. Kakashi looked ahead to see Anko waving at them with odangos held by her other hand.

They walked towards her. Kakashi felt the hesitation in Tenzo's steps. Something clicked in his mind. Did something happen between them? If there was, Anko was very good in hiding it, unlike his gloomy sorry-excuse for a kohai.

But Tenzo never took women too seriously, so this was out of character.

"Oi." Kakashi greeted when they approached her. She happily took a bite of her food.

"Did you hear?" Anko flashed them a toothy grin. "Gai is still doing that duck walk around town on a grass skirt. I swear Kakashi, you are the most sadistic friend a person could have."

"I have to agree with you on that." Tenzo joined in their conversation, finally following Kakashi.

Anko turned to him and gave him her cocky grin. "Hello there, No. 1 sexiest Shinobi."

Tenzo kept a straight face but can't keep the blush from creeping up his face.

Anko seemed to raise a slender brow at his cold reaction.

"Anyway," Kakashi started, "you can't blame me for that. It was Gai's idea, his self imposed punishments I mean."

"Yeah, that guy has got to get a clue." Anko stated.

"I can't say that I disagree with that..."Tenzo sighed.

"So any plans for tonight?" Kakashi asked Anko, probing subtly.

"The usual," she drawled as she gave her irresistible look at Tenzo, "unless, someone has something different in mind."

Anko waited for him to answer, but none came. Her seductive leer turned upside down as she saw Tenzo with a look of what could be condescension. Her mouth began to twitch as she kept the snarl from painting her face.

Tenzo's face was still unreadable as he broke the heavy silence that fell between them. "No plans," he said, "we can fall to our comfortable routine, as always." He finished with a hint of mocking and unceremoniously walks away.

Anko's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What's his problem?" She was asking no one in particular.

Still, Kakashi felt the need to reply in his junior's stead. "I was asking him that myself since this morning." He answered her then turned to look at her.

He did not fail t notice how her eyes still trailed the path where Tenzo walked and disappeared. But what bothered him more was that how her face manifested more of her pain than the anger that she was concealing it in.

-O-

Anko finally finds him in his apartment kitchen, standing over his sink, just staring out, shirtless.

"Normal people usually go through a door and knocks before entering." Tenzo says without turning around.

Anko breathed in, trying to calm every livid nerve that courses through her body.

"No one, I mean _no one_, humiliates me like that and just walks away." Fury was seething in every word.

"I don't see what I have done to _humiliate _you." The anbu captain turns around. "It's not like Kakashi-sempai doesn't know. Hell, I could say that everyone would have guessed by the with the way you are parading around."

The next second, there was a blur of motion and Anko was right at his neck, clutching a fork, which she picked up from his table. It was jammed uncomfortably at his neck.

"You. Don't. See?" She hissed slowly. "You made me for a self-serving bitch, and fucking in front of Kakashi!"

Despite the utensil threatening to break through to his throat, Tenzo managed to chuckle, but humourlessly. "Kakashi –sempai did warn me of your erratic tendencies."

She put more pressure on her 'weapon'. "Erratic? You want me to show you _erratic_?"

"Careful..." Tenzo breathed, and Anko felt his warm breath spread over her, "you don't want to lose your temper, or else – " Then he stopped himself, seeming to regret what it was he was thinking.

But Anko caught on well. Her eyes widened at his implication, but it narrowed just as easily, "Or else what?"

The man in front of her just turned away.

Anko felt her hands tremble and she stepped back, distancing herself from him for fear that she won't be able to stop herself from killing him. With a flip of the wrist, the fork came flying through the air only missing Tenzo's face by mere millimetres. She suddenly felt all too disgusted by herself, and also by the man in front of her.

She thought he would be better than that.

"Say it."

"Anko, I..."

"SAY IT GODDAMMIT!"

Tenzo rubbed at his temples, and she just stood there staring angrily at him.

"That if I lose my temper my curse mark will activate? Say that my fucking ties to that snake still disgusts you. Say it that you think I am tainted, that I am an abomination, that every time you look at me you can only see that I am the dumb shit that accepted the curse mark."

"It is nothing like that." Tenzo sighed. "This is why you, and me can never work."

"You and me?" Anko laughed darkly. "There is no you and me. We had this arrangement to avoid you and me. And you are damn right it won't work, not with someone like you."

"Someone like me..." Tenzo muttered to himself, half laughing all the same. "You mean an experiment, a subject like me?"

Anko leaned against the entryway of the kitchen, as if their argument exhausted her. She fought back the tears that were beginning to well in her eyes. "You and I, we have too much in common. I don't know why we are doing this, but we are just mirroring each other, magnifying each one's pain through each other..."

"It was your idea, not mine. I wasn't the one who broke into your apartment to seduce you, and then kept coming back."

"And I wasn't the one who kept on accepting such advances. Admit it. You also wanted it. I don't know about you, but I never thought of myself as a masochist, and yet, here I am." Anko paused then she spoke again, softer this time. "But also in the same way, I find comfort in you. Knowing that I am not alone, that there is also someone who had gone through what I did, or if not, then close to it..."

"Finding comfort in my misery." Tenzo supplied and shook his head. "I am not miserable."

"You can make yourself believe that, but you know the truth, and yes, exactly that. That was what I thought when I first knew how you could use the shodaime's style. It cannot be kept secret after all, not with abilities like that." She paused, and a single tear drop fell. She wiped it with a finger and continued. "And yet we have too many differences as well. Unlike you, I accepted to have this curse mark, actually strived for it, and to have myself experimented on. I loved Orochimaru, like how a student is to a master. I only wanted to be accepted by my master, I wanted him to be proud of me. But after he gave me that mark and left me alone to die, how did you think I feel? I was willing to give everything to this man, and that was how he repaid me. Do you know the feeling of being rejected by the person that matters to you most?"

Anko's voice was breaking, but she stopped herself and steadied her breathing. It was too long ago, but the pain still felt like it was yesterday. She looked to find an answer in Tenzo's face but he only looked to the ground.

Anko laughed bitterly.

"That's what I thought. Why am I even explaining this to you. You couldn't fully grasp what I have been through despite having almost gone through the same ordeal. You who had always been alone, and you who are as successful as distancing yourself from the people around you as you are with your anbu career."

Tenzo opened his mouth to protest, but stopped. He brought a curled hand to his lips, and just gazed on Anko. She continued.

"I know you watch me when I get dressed after we have sex. I feel your gaze linger on the curse mark. You may be asking why I kept it when the Third offered to completely remove it. It's not like I still hold some emotional ties with the monster, although our last encounter proved I still felt something for _him_. But that is besides the point. The point is I kept the mark to remind me of what I had gone through, so that I won't be fooled again, and let others not go through the same. I thought out of all the people I know, you'd understand."

Silence passed between the two of them, and Anko lifted her head to look at Tenzo who was still intently watching her.

"God I hate that face of yours, I can't read a single thing about it. Are you really this... unfeeling?"

"What do you want me to say?" Tenzo replied.

"You can be a bigger jerk than Kakashi without you trying."

Anko started to turn to leave, then she heard the slapping of hands behind her and the next thing she feels is something hard encircling her wrist. It kept her from moving forward. She looked at her hand and saw wood encircling it and traced it to Tenzo, not that she doesn't know whose it was already.

"Look," Tenzo looked at her in earnest, "I'm sorry. I am not trying to be a jerk."

"Oh, you are just a natural at it."

"Could you please just let me finish?" Tenzo said exasperated.

Anko kept herself silent but she was glaring daggers at the wood style user.

"I didn't mean to make you feel the way you did... As a matter of fact, you are one of the kunoichi that impresses me most. I may not fully grasp what you have been going through, but you are right. Out of all the people you have met, I have the closest idea of what it's like, and I should have understood you more."

Anko's gaze softened a little with his explanation, but it doesn't make up for what he did.

Tenzo continued. "It's admirable, how you could go on as if nothing had happened, be as lively as you are, well, at least when there is someone watching. " He finally releases his hold on her, and the wood came rushing into his palms.

He walked closer to her, and Anko stiffened when he was now only a few inches away from her. She felt the heat radiating from his unclothed torso.

"What I am trying to say is..." He paused and breathed in, as if trying to muster the courage. Anko waited in anticipation, but she felt the bile rise from her stomach as she began to predict what he was going to say.

"What I am saying is," Tenzo repeated, "I don't want you to make yourself like just some sex object, because even I don't want you to be treated like that. Hell, I am a guy and I don't want to be used like that. I don't want us to make a fool out of each other that way, and," he paused to emphasize his next words, "I can't go on like this, and pretend not to care."

Anko felt the blood drain from her face, and before she could stop herself, she performed hand seals faster than the eye could see and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Tenzo abruptly stepped back and fixated his gaze to where Anko was standing only a second ago. He did not know why she disappeared, but he could certainly vouch for this being rejection.

He clenched his fists and frowned, and stormed to his bedroom, wishing to break everything he passed through.

_If only he was able to train his eyes to shed a tear..._

* * *

**A/N: **I really think that Yamato and Anko would make a very intersting pair. They do have one very big connection: Orochimaru. That is deeper than many of the characters in the series.

SO what do you think of the story? I woudl really appreaciate some **R&R**. Second chapter is on the works.


	2. Chapter 2

Somewhere at the heart of the Forest of Death, Anko emerged from a thick cloud of smoke. Her shock was still visible in her features, as she took deep breaths. Her chest was heaving. She raised a fist and laid it against her wildly beating heart in an effort to calm herself.

She slumped towards a crevice of a huge tree and rested herself there. As she closed her eyes to enjoy the calm that the forest offered, memories of the earlier events rushed in.

"What was I thinking?" She muttered to herself as she rubbed her temples, half embarrassed, half frustrated.

"Yeah..." someone behind her answered. "What were you thinking?"

She did not need to turn around to know who was invading her solace. She opened her eyes and a frown replaced her troubled expression. "Genma..." She growled. "You really have the habit of invading my privacy."

Genma shrugged. He walked towards her and sat beside her. He leaned against the same tree where she rested and casted a lazy glance at Anko.

They stayed quiet for a while, Genma just stared at her, and Anko tried her best to ignore his presence. She again closed her eyes to block him out.

Genma began to tap his foot, and swished the senbon on his mouth noisily.

Seconds passed and Anko grew more and more irritated. She even heard him whistle out a tune. She sighed in annoyance.

"Alright, fine. You win. What do you want?"

This earned her a triumphant grin from her fellow jounin. She hated how he knew what buttons to push to irritate her. And he always did just that.

"So..." Genma started, placing the senbon in the corner of his mouth, "I heard there was a fight between two jounins on one of the apartments by the river..."

Anko opened her eyes and narrowed them at Genma. She knew where this was going.

"Said jounins were supposed to be male and female, at least that was what the voice sounded, the neighbours say. "

Anko kept quiet, she already had her arms across her chest.

"The neighbours were complaining, because they were too loud." Genma shrugged. "Can't a man and woman keep their arguments to themselves? They don't need to let the whole town know they are fighting."

Without a hint, Anko gave Genma a smack at the backside of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Genma said as he rubbed the assaulted part of his head.

"Dumbass!" Who told you?"

"No one."

"Kakashi?"

"No!"

Anko breathed in and went back to hunch by the tree trunk.

"Damn Anko," Genma said, as he looked at his hand after he stroked his head. "I thought you cracked my head open. No wonder you scare men off."

Anko's temples visibly throbbed, and Genma noticed. He backed off by a few inches.

"I did not mean it that way." Genma nervously stated.

"I swear, if we weren't serving the same village I would have strangled you already."

Genma smirked and relaxed. "I know. I am awesome like that. You just like me too much."

"Too much for my own good."

"But not for mine."

Anko chuckled. But then, she felt silent.

Genma allowed her some moment of thought and just stared overhead at the darkening sky.

"So how did you know?" Anko asked.

"Well," Genma started, "I was delivering mission scrolls. I was by the apartment when I thought I heard your voice. I was assured of it when I realized which apartment it was coming from."

Anko looked to the ground. "So you decided to listen in and follow me?"

"No."

Anko raised a brow.

"Yes." Genma answered, defeated. "With all seriousness, what happened?"

"Things." She stated blankly.

Genma sighed. "Anko you know me better than anyone, I'm not letting this one slide, not something like this. And I'll follow you around until you talk and you won't be able to do anything about it."

"Because I like you too much? Why did I ever know you?" She smiled.

Genma didn't answer, but he turned to her without the playfulness it held earlier. "Seriously now. What happened between the two of you?"

The kunoichi fell silent.

"I don't know how it started." Anko looked thoughtful. "It really came out of nowhere."

Anko crossed her leg and rested her arms on her knees. "It felt like, it was probably cascading... A domino effect that started when we began doing this."

"With the two of you? It's almost inevitable." Genma said in reproach. "You should know."

"I know. But, I cannot stop myself." She looked away."Remember when we were in the anbu, and I told you how I admired him then after I learned about what Orochimaru did to him. I sort of idolized him, and maybe up to now, that admiration still remains."

"I thought you grew out of that school girl crush?"

"I did, when I did missions with Kakashi."

"And you grew out of that as well?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Anko chortled.

"Yeah, that too. But when Tenzo and I started sleeping together, it brought back memories, like how would I have been so happy if this happened at that time."

"Did it make _you _happy?"

"Like living in a childhood fantasy, it did. It was more like..." Anko paused as she thought of how to describe it, "like, getting a trophy, winning a prize, something as shallow as that. But then, you start to learn a lot about people when they are away from the eyes of the public."

"And it's no longer that shallow...that would put a number on you. You should have stayed away." Genma's tone was disapproving. "I warned you."

"And we just like playing with fire. I thought that it's going to be just one night. But I just kept coming back. I just can't seem to help myself."

"Obviously." Genma raised his brow "Was he that good?"

This earned him a hearty chuckle from the kunoichi. "He was, but you were better."

Genma smiled, obviously relishing the memories with pride. "Of course, no one can equal me in that arena. So if it's not that, what made you come back?"

"Don't get the wrong idea, he's good. That was the reason, at first. Also, remember the magazine photos Kakashi shot? The real thing looks even better." She drawled as her tongue unconsciously slid across her teeth.

Genma made a face. "Please don't inject my mind with images of Tenzo naked."

"I don't complain when you describe _in detail_ the women you slept with." Anko raised an eyebrow. She continued. "There was something so mysterious about him, so unreadable, that I sort of wanted to see more."

"Spend half of your life nameless and I think even you will find yourself mysterious. With all his calmness and reserve, I still think you should have held a lot of caution around him."

"I did."

"Not enough. Don't get me wrong. I served with him in the ANBU, a lot of times. We were in the same team, that is until he got his promotion. He's a great guy, very reliable. But sometimes, he's too methodical, too mechanical especially in his killings, that you'd think he's there's no human behind that mask. You know this. You've seen his works."

Anko stayed quiet. Genma was speaking the truth.

"You, I might describe you as bloodthirsty in your killings, but at least, you still have feelings when you do. He's just..." Genma waved his hand in front of him, "blank. I've been with him for years, and I still can't read him."

"I wonder if Kakashi feels the same." Anko mumbled.

"I think Kakashi is the only one who knows him better than the Third. I think they have a lot of things in common than they are letting on."

"I just think that Tenzo is very secretive, probably because nature of his job. There are only a few that he allows get to know him. We... never really talked."

"Being inconspicuous, unknown is one of the most dangerous weapon a ninja can have. Tenzo obviously benefits from that." Genma explained next in puzzlement, "I don't even understand why he stays in the Anbu. Usually, after being there for a few years, shinobi leave. True, it is every shinobi's dream to be part of it, but after being there, you just want to get out. And that is the worst thing about it, losing your identity. How can he live with that? I left. You also did."

"I know." Anko whispered and she stared blankly at grass beneath her.

Genma saw the saddened expression on Anko's face. He rarely saw her like this and felt he needed to change direction. "Anyway, we are not here to discuss his psychology"

"It's just," Anko ignored his statement. "I felt like I was beginning to like him. Sometimes, he has this expression when he is looking at kids, as if he was missing his own, like he never became a kid. Like when Naruto is fooling around with Sakura and Sai, he had this smile that it seems he's so happy for them, but at the same time envies them as well. It made me feel sympathetic towards him."

Genma looked at her thoughtfully. "Could be the reason why he and Kakashi got along well."

"It scared me. I don't know why but it did."She fell silent.

Genma studied her face and turned away. "Shinobi villages," he chuckled darkly, "full of troubled people, left and right. I think there is an unspoken contest here of who's got the most fucked up past. Or, the grownups took it upon themselves to compete with each other, which of us can make the most fucked up kid, don't you think?"

Anko raised her eyes and looked at him. A smile replaced her melancholy expression. Memories of when they were younger came back to her, of how Genma looked after her, like an older brother to a naive sister. But he was in no way protective.

Genma turned and saw the way she looked at him. "There you go again, thinking what and awesome guy I am."

"Tsk," Anko smirked, "You give yourself too much credit there."

Genma raised a hand and ruffled her hair, a gesture he hadn't done in years.

"Hey," Anko threw his hands off. "What am I, twelve?"

"No, but the way you are acting make you look like it."

Anko gave him her trademark toothy grin. Genma just shook his head, but with a smile.

"See. Twelve. So, from what you said, you were beginning to like Tenzo, and it scared you." Genma went over it like he did on a mission briefing. "You don't know why it did, but from what I can see it's probably from your shared past. I practically listened in the whole time you are fighting so I know what you fought about..."

Anko rolled her eyes.

"...but, from what I heard, it looks like he wanted more, like a real relationship. And from what I understand from you, you also want the same, or am I wrong?"

Anko did not answer, but instead she looked at anything but Genma.

"You're not sure, yes?"

Anko just sighed.

"I still think Tenzo and relationships don't go along well, but whatever. My advice never stopped you from doing anything before, wouldn't do anything now." Genma leaned back and rested his head on his arms. "So, what bothers me is why you ran away?"

He gave her a pointed expression.

Anko just bit her lip.

-0-

Kakashi just finished reading his Icha Icha paradise when he glanced at his window. He had been aware of his presence for a while now, but he just had to finish his book first. If he wanted anything from him, he'd wait.

He did wait, and that means Kakashi would be turning in his paper works a little late. It wasn't a rare occurrence though. It happens even without his help.

Kakashi sighed and walked towards his porch. He opened it and saw Tenzo sitting by the wooden railing, back against the wall, and eyes transfixed on the sky. He did not seem to notice when Kakashi went out and rested a hand on the railing to look at the street below them.

The last time Tenzo came to him like this was when he had to kill a thirteen year old shinobi for the first time during his anbu mission. That was nine years ago. He had become very, very independent since.

So what was he doing here?

"The sky isn't too clear tonight to be that fascinating." Kakashi said and he turned to look at his kohai. "Why are you here?"

"I don't know." Tenzo shrugged. "I just felt like going here."

Kakashi leaned against the railing to face him. He looked at him for a moment and Tenzo deliberately ignored him. He crossed his arms against his chest. "If you just wanted to watch the stars, you have your own terrace for that. I still have a lot of papers that needs to be filled out, now get the fuck out."

"That did not stop you from finishing that book." The mokuton user pointed out.

"My time, my place. I do what I want." Kakashi started to walk towards the door. He reached for the knob.

"Sempai..." Tenzo started.

Kakashi stopped and tilted his head toward him.

Tenzo swung his leg inside the porch and landed softly on the floor. "It's about Anko..."

Kakashi remained expressionless. He wasn't surprised. It was only a matter of time. He even thought that it took them long enough.

"Wait here." Kakashi said and went inside his apartment.

He went over his cupboard to reach for the sake bottle but thought better of it. Something with far less alcohol content would be ideal for Tenzo. He went to his fridge and brought out a pack of beer. He then went back to his porch and found the younger shinobi already sitting comfortably on his chair.

Kakashi tossed him a can of beer and took one for himself, and sat on the chair opposite him.

"So what the deal with you and Anko. I thought this was supposed to be a no strings attached kind of thing."

Tenzo took a large gulp from his beer. "Yeah, it was. Until I screwed it up."

"You screwed it up? How exactly did you do that?"

"I guess I got too attached."

"And?" Kakashi prodded.

"I really can't explain it. I got carried away. I guess I was fed up feeling I was being used."

"You can be such a girl sometimes." Kakashi took a swig from his beer. "That's free sex you are giving away."

"You can stop acting cool now. It's just the two of us."

"Why do you always have to put me down when I always recommended you for the good missions?" Kakashi wilted.

Tenzo smiled. "Missions that had the best chance of getting me killed? Truth be told? You deserve it, sometimes."

"Well, you lived."

They remained quiet for a while as they finished their first can. The both watched the street below them.

"I did warn you about Anko didn't I?" Kakashi said as he opened his second can. "And not just once. Of all women, why her?"

"She is different than other women I have been with before, she put me off guard."

"She is different. Too different. I thought you were better with this? Handling your personal life I mean."

"I am. But, I never had much experience with handling women." Tenzo looked away, a blush stained his face. Whether it was from the alcohol or from his confession, Kakashi could not tell.

"And you think I do?" Kakashi remembered his last serious relationship, his only serious relationship. He raised a hand to his mouth to hide his frown.

"Sempai, it's no secret how many lines up just to be with you."

"Doesn't mean I get them all to bed."

"You lie."

Tenzo looked at him sharply. Kakashi scratched his head. "Ok, fine. Maybe only half of them, but that was years ago. I was young."

"Still a hell lot better than my track record."

"Well, how could it not be? You're too serious. You scare them away." Kakashi paused to take a drink. "If not that, you show them how obviously disinterested you are. I was even surprised you entertained Anko."

"She left me with no choice," the mokuton user coughed, "the first time."

"And the second?"

Tenzo didn't answer, instead he brought the beer can to his lips and took in mouthfuls.

"I thought so." Kakashi chuckled.

"I couldn't help it." He explained. "She was great the first time around, and... she took me by surprise. Obviously, I enjoyed it. I still have needs you know." He stopped and looked down thoughtfully. "Then it sort of became an addiction..."

"But you've had other similar arrangements before, you did not seem to have a problem with them. They lasted longer as well."

"The case is not the same with her." Tenzo shook his head. "We never really agreed on anything. She came, I let her in. Actually, she comes in by my window, and when I expected her, I leave it open, which happened like every single day. That's it. We didn't really talk. We make some comments but we never even come to ask how each other was. We just got down to business."

Kakashi followed Tenzo's hand with his eyes as his kohai brought his palms together.

"Recently, it just became different. There were times, when she just looks vulnerable, and I can't help but remember the time she was left by Orochimaru. I know that I reminded her of her master. There were times when she looked like she wanted to talk, but she never does. I was not too eager to ask. I can see it when she looks at me sometimes. She got that pained expression. There's a connection there that we were both reluctant to recognize, but this time we finally did. And look what wonders it did."

Tenzo leaned back and sighed, his expression frustrated.

"And you think that is the reason you fought?" Kakashi asked, but somehow he already knew the answer.

"I don't know. Maybe it had something to do with it. But I told you already, I did not like the thought that I was being used."

"But it's still not the main reason, isn't it?

Tenzo again eyed the horizon. Kakashi followed. The sky was studded with stars now.

He heard the younger shinobi sigh.

"I thought I was only giving her what she wants and at the same time, mutually benefitting."

"But when she leaves, how does it make you feel?" Kakashi pointed out, leading his kohai to a realization he seemed not to welcome.

Tenzo frowned but did not say anything, a reaction Kakashi expected.

"Look Tenzo. You really can't control how you feel. No one can. A shinobi can choose a life of solitude, but it doesn't mean that he wouldn't feel anything. You can act all tough but you still feel."

"Maybe, I feel... alone, lonely." Tenzo unwillingly whispered as he blushed, this time, Kakashi could tell it wasn't from the alcohol. "I know I shouldn't be."

"Maybe? You shouldn't be? What do you think you are talking about? Everybody goes through it. It's nothing to be embarrassed about; it's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Who could have imagined such words coming out from the legendary Hatake Kakashi." Tenzo joked.

Kakashi waved it off. "Who came here looking for advice, and is drinking my beer?"

Tenzo smiled gently to the ground "Thank you sempai, for everything. I couldn't think of anyone better to talk to regarding serious relationships."

Kakashi knew what Tenzo meant, and fell silent. He watched the apartment window across from them. He felt Tenzo tense slightly by his side as his kohai realized something, and looked away regretfully. Up until now, his kohai was very respectful of his privacy. He never asked, but all the same, he knew.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to remind you." Tenzo said.

"Don't worry about it. It's in the past." Kakashi stated coolly. "Who could blame you for your limited number of friends." Kakashi said in jest, and he saw Tenzo grimace. " Although... no one could have guessed you were into the wild types." Kakashi grinned at him.

Tenzo chuckled. "Now who would've thought?"

"I still stand by what I said though. Anko's a wildcard. I don't think the two of you will mix well."

"Oh sempai," Tenzo dramatically stated, but this time, with a smile, "you touch me so."

He mocked but, Kakashi just laughed. They fell silent again as they thought over what was said, Tenzo mostly.

"So..." Kakashi broke the silence. "What are you going to do about it?"

Tenzo downed his second can to the last drop and opened a third. Kakashi felt anxious, not for his kohai but for himself.

-0-0-

_An 11 year old Anko was feeling irritated. It was not the first time that she was outwardly ignored by that conceited shinobi._

"_Who does he think he is?" She muttered angrily to herself as she clenched her fists. She was walking by the streets of Konoha and every person got out of her way as she passed by._

_Some was brave enough to walk up to her and tap her by the shoulder._

_Anko briskly turned around, ready for a confrontation._

"_Whoa!" The girl in front of her raised her hand in defense. _

"_Yugao?" Anko relaxed._

"_Yeah, it's me." Yugao said as she put down her hands. "You look really scary. You looking for a fight?"_

"_No! But if it is with that Tenzo guy I wouldn't mind. In fact, I'd be more than happy to let him see stars." She balled her fists._

"_Tenzo?" Yugao asked in disbelief. "Why? What did he do? He seems like a nice guy."_

"_He's a snobbish asshole, who thinks just because he was promoted to become a chuunin earlu, he's everything."_

"_He doesn't seem that way to me." Yugao shrugged. "He's nice to me, and to my other friends."_

"_Exactly. He's only like that with me!" Anko's voice rose an octave. The people around them turned to look._

_Yugao's head turned from left to right, and smiled at the people around them._

"_Come on," the fellow kunoichi said. "Let me buy you some Odangos to brighten your mood."_

_Without any hesitation, Anko said yes, and Yugao smiled at her._

"_So," Yugao said as they walked the streets, "what did he do?"_

"_He just ignores me like a plague. It's like, he never likes seeing me. Like I am the most disgusting person in the world. I hate it."_

"_How?"_

"_Like," Anko's hand went to her chin as she thought of it, "when I ask him something he looks like he doesn't want to be there. He looks around, as if looking for a way to escape. And... and, when he sees me on the street, he turns to the nearest corner so that we wouldn't pass each other. He's so annoying! I want to kill him!"_

_Her statement again made the people walking around them turn to her with anxious expressions._

_Yugao waved them off._

"_Maybe you are over thinking things..."_

"_Over thinking? I am not the type who likes to think much remember?"_

_Yugao chuckled. "Well, you got me there. Why don't we test your theory?"_

_Before Anko could protest, Yugao got her by the hand and dragged her along. They rushed past stalls, and finally reached a sushi bar where a group of young shinobi gathered._

_There Anko saw Tenzo sitting by those shinobi. He looked too young and out of place with the peers he had around him. He did not look that comfortable either._

"_Hello everybody!" Yugao joyously greeted them._

"_Oh, hey." The white haired shinobi she knew to be Hatake Kakashi greeted them but without any real enthusiasm. He was sitting with Tenzo on his left and Asuma Sarutobi on his right. Asuma nodded._

_The two others who were sitting with their backs on them turned to look at them. One was Genma Shiraniu, and the other Gekko Hayate. Genma flashed them a smile that can make women swoon, and Anko found herself wanting to return the smile. Hayate looked at Yugao and blushed. Yugao did the same._

_Tenzo nodded as well, but only slightly._

"_What can we do you for ladies?" Genma said still with a smirk. "Come and sit with us."_

_Hayate rolled his eyes, but nervously scooted to give room for both Anko and Yugao._

_Clueless, Anko took the seat next to Hayate. She heard Yugao release a sigh, and proceeded to sit right next to her. Beside her, Hayate visibly slumped._

"_We just wanted to hang out." Yugao explained._

_They had a comfortable conversation after. All the while, Anko was watching Tenzo every now and then, shooting him looks with narrowed eyes. He seemed not to notice, and so far he did not make a move to leave. But he wasn't too eager at being there either._

_Another sushi plate arrived at their table which seems to have had a lot already._

"_So," Anko started, pointing out the abundant amount of food, "what's the celebration all about?"_

"_Haven't you heard?" Asuma said lighting a cigarette. "Tenzo finally joins the ranks of the Jounins."_

"_Oh really?" Yugao said wide-eyed. "Well, congratulations!"_

"_Thank you." Tenzo humbly answers._

"_And he's only thirteen." Genma added._

"_I'm turning 14 next month." Tenzo shyly corrected._

"_Big difference." _

"_Congratulations!" Anko said with a wide smile. "Now you have all the more reason to be an arrogant bastard."_

_Anko stands up and leave. Yugao was about to follow her, but Hayate stopped her._

_Anko was about to turn the corner and when she saw Tenzo standing there. She looked back at the restaurant, then back at the boy in front of her._

"_Mitarashi-san..." He said as he hesitantly walked towards her. "Did I do anything to offend you?"_

"_Other than being a snobbish asshole? Nada." Anko said and pushed past him._

_Tenzo followed her, his head downcast. "It's not what you think... But I am sorry all the same."_

_Anko stopped and turned to him. "Would you stop following me! I don't need your apology."_

_She saw the apologetic look on Tenzou's face and she felt her angry features soften. It was genuine. But she willed her face again to harden._

_Tenzo looked up to say something but stopped and his eyes widened, but not in fear but more of resentment. She wasn't sure if he was looking at her or someone behind her, but he did not give her time to check. He bowed to her and said "I'm sorry, I have to leave."_

_He leapt up the roof and was gone._

_She heard a familiar throaty laugh behind her. She turned around excited, and smiled happily. "Sensei!"_

_Orochimaru still had a devious smile on his face when he looked at the place where Tenzo disappeared. He then faced Anko, knelt and brushed a hand through her hair. "Remember to go to me later. For tonight, I will bestow you the gift I was talking to you about."_

_Anko's smile grew and she hugged her master._

_Later, she realized that Tenzo only evaded her when she was with Orochimaru. And, she realized, even later that the gift was not what she thought she wanted._

* * *

**A/N: **So I had a headache writing this **flashback**, for there are inconsistencies with the timeline, so I partially handled it. In my source and from what I can remember, Tenzo was supposed to be abducted as an infant, but Orochimaru did not know one of his experiments survived. But, he left Konoha when Anko was about 12, probably also around the time the curse mark was given. And Tenzo, according to the data book is older than Anko by two years. So, he would have been 14 when Orochimaru left. By then, I think Orochimaru would have known. BUT! There is a source that says that Orochimaru was exiled/escaped capture when the infants were discovered to be experimented upon... So, it makes things somewhat confusing. If you have some insights here, feel free.

I don't know what age Tenzo became jounin or joined Anbu, but I know he was chuunin at age 6. Kakashi was as well, and he was promoted to jounin at around 12. So I think Tenzou would not lag behind.

**AND** I do apologize for the grammar mistakes of the previous chapter, and I will apologize for that you will find here. I suck at tenses, I admit, so if you want to help me with it, I'll be glad. I do take me time to check it.

Next chapter might be the last. Thank you for all those who read and commented. AND DON"T FORGET TO REVIEW THIS ONE AS WELL :)


	3. Chapter 3

More than A year since I've updated. I know, lousy author right? Sorry for the looong wait. here's the third part.

I do apologize in advance for grammar and spelling mistakes. When you write too many words, it's hard to pinpoint the errors.

I hope you like it. and Reviews if you must.

* * *

Shizune looked up from the report she was reading, then to the door. She felt his chakra approaching. He'd soon be opening the doors to her office. Shizune quickly brought her hand to her hair and straightened up some of the frizzy strands. She looked at the clock by her desk, its short and long hands pointing at 2 and 7, meaning she again forgot lunch. Her attention drifted from the approaching chakra to the stacks of papers beside her desk. Where was Yamato when she needed him.

Shizune heard the knob turn and quickly brought her eyes again onto the report, making it appear that she didn't notice the jounin entering her office, but she was inwardly fussing how she hadn't had the time to check how she looked in the mirror.

"Yo!" Kakashi greeted as he entered the door.

Pretending to have only noticed him now, Shizune brought the report down. "Hello Kakashi." She acknowledged him. She glanced meaningfully at the large clock on the wall, hoping that the shinobi would notice the gesture. And surely he did.

Kakashi scratched the back of his neck as he walked towards her desk. He smiled in feigned embarrassment at Shizune, but she knows better.

"Late, but no more than usual." Shizune sighed, as she took the papers from Kakashi's hand.

"I've got a good excuse." The copy-nin stated.

"You always do."

"No seriously."

Shizune shook her head. "Save your excuses. I still got a lot of things to do." She motioned her head to the five piles of paper on the floor.

"Oh." Was all Kakashi could reply as he eyed the stacks. He hesitated for a moment watching Shizune walk across the room and put his report on top of the pile. "Need any help." He finally offered.

Shizune looked back at him and smiled genially. "No need. I can handle this myself. I am used to this amount of paper works. Sometimes I get more than this." She waved her hands in dismissal. "Besides, Yamato offered to help me yesterday, he said he'd be here after lunch, but he hasn't arrived yet."

Again, Kakashi scratched the back of his neck and smiled that trademark smile of his.

Shizune put her hands on her waist. She knew what this expression from Kakashi meant. She had been at the receiving end of it since Lady Tsunade became Hokage. "Say whatever it is you have to say Kakashi, I don't have time or patience to interpret what you mean."

"You see," Kakashi started, "Tenzo can't make it today."

"What do you mean?" Shizune asked.

"He's still passed out on my couch, we had a few drinks last night."

Shizune straightened for a second, and then rolled his eyes. "I knew this would happen. Why did I even expect." She marched to her desk and buried her face at another report, all the while mumbling. "I knew it I knew it."

The white haired ninja was puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Shizune looked up at him again. "Anko and Yamato's falling out, it's all over town, well at least to those in the know."

"That only happened yesterday." Kakashi pointed out.

"Well word travels fast, especially with that kind of news." Shizune answered without looking away from the report. She grabbed a red pen and began circling words on the paper.

It was Kakashi's turn to sigh. _Women and gossips_. He found himself looking at the wall clock, it was a quarter to three in the afternoon. His gaze went back to Shizune's desk, and it appeared to him that she had been rooted there since the day began.

Kakashi turned to head to the door, but as he held the knob, he looked back at the very busy kunoichi. "I'll be back. I'll just get you something to eat." Then he headed out to the door.

Shizune's eyes were still on the report. She didn't even look up, as she didn't have enough time to react properly to the sudden offer. If she could, she would have already melted on her seat.

_How did he know I didn't have lunch yet?_ It was all she could do not to crumple the report she was holding and scream at the top of her lungs.

-0-

Tenzo slowly opened his eyes. This was his fifth attempt since he had woken up. He'd been awake for a good thirty minutes now, but he just couldn't bring himself to stand up, or even to fully open his very heavy eyes. It didn't help that he could feel his head throbbing painfully, in time with the beating of his heart. It also didn't help that Kakashi left all the curtains and blinds in his apartment fully open. Damn his sempai. He was sure that he left them open on purpose.

Finally, Tenzo mustered the strength to stand. He immediately went for the windows and closed the blinds. It helped a little with the headache. He lugged himself over to the sink and filled a glass with water. He knew that one of the fastest ways to get rid of this hangover was to rehydrate. He had been caught in this situation far too many times to now be an expert with hangovers. He also promised himself far too many times that he would never ever drink again. But it seems that this particular promise was made to be broken, again and again.

Tenzo gulped down the contents of the glass and filled himself with another. He downed that one as well, and he massaged his temples. He dragged himself towards the bathroom where he knew Kakashi kept some pills for headache. He took two and went back to sit in the couch. He closed his eyes and found himself drifting to a memory that he wished he could forget. It was one of the many. It happened roughly 9 years ago…

He was just resting in his apartment, a day after he came back from one of his missions. That last mission was easy, it was considered A rank, but it happened without incident. Most of their missions were like that as of late. His anbu team, under the leadership of Hatake Kakashi was operating like a well oiled machine. They had been together for 3 years now, 3 very good and productive years. He was making himself lunch when someone knocked at his door. He padded silently to the door, a second nature to him now, and looked through the peep hole. He saw Gekkou Hayate waiting for him. He opened the door.

"Hello Gekkou." Tenzo greeted.

Hayate just nodded his head in reply.

"Come in." Tenzou said and he walked in the apartment, the sword dancer behind him. "I was just preparing for lunch, do you want something to eat?"

"No, I am fine. But thank you." Hayate answered and sat on his couch and waited for Tenzo as he brought out sushi rolls.

Tenzo sat in front of him, and ate. Tenzou's apartment wasn't much despite the relatively higher salary of anbu, compared to other shinobi. It was Spartan to be described. A studio with a small kitchen and fridge, a single bed in the corner with crisp gray sheet on top, a few books on one of the desk in the opposite corner, a small couch with a simple coffee table by the entryway, and nothing decorating the place except a single plant by one window. It wasn't even the flowery kind of plant, it was just like a shrub that was picked from somewhere, but it was obviously well taken care of. No form of entertainment can be seen in the apartment except for one old fashioned music box on top of the coffee table.

Tenzou liked keeping things simple. He didn't want too many things. He didn't take it as an indication to think that something was psychologically wrong with him, unlike some shrinks that suggested otherwise. He just didn't get things that he didn't need. For him, life is as simple as that. Although there were a few who voiced their opinions on his way of life, Shiranui Genma comes to mind first.

"So," Tenzo started as he swallowed one of the sushi. "What brings you here?"

Hayate watched him as he ate. "The Sandaime wants to see us." He stated a matter of fact-ly.

"The whole team?" Tenzou chewed on his second piece. Hayate just nodded in reply. He was never much of a talker Tenzou observed. He thought it was because it brought out his coughing spells when he talks too much, which was understandable. "But we had already been debriefed."

"It might have something to do with a new mission, something Yugao talked about." Hayate glanced sideways at the mention of her name.

"I see. No rest for the wicked." Tenzo smiled.

Hayate smiled back. "Indeed. None Indeed." He stood and started for the door. "I'll see you there in an hour."

Tenzo just nodded at him in acknowledgement.

Hayate opened the door and stopped to look back at him. "Good luck Tenzo." He said out of the blue.

Tenzo stopped mid-chew and swallowed. "For what?"

"For whatever it is coming your way." And he closed the door behind him leaving a very puzzled Tenzo with his sushi.

Tenzo was staring at the ceiling as he recalled the events after that day. It had gone through his mind several times already, always asking himself that if he went back to that time, knowing what he knew now, would he have accepted the mission, or would he have asked for it to be given to somebody else. No matter how many times he kept asking himself this question, he always knew the answer would come to the same thing, and he would have decided today what he decided on that day. It was the only choice, and it was given to him because the hokage knew what he was capable of. It didn't make the memory any easier.

Tenzo got up when his headache lessened and got dressed to head to his apartment. He felt like he needed a good shower. He leapt through the roofs until he reached his destination.

-0-

Yugao laid lilacs on the resting place of Hayate. Lilacs had always been the symbol if early love, but it is also the color of mourning. It had been her favorite flower since his death.

Three years had passed, it still brought tears to her eyes whenever she came here, and whenever she began thinking of him. She knew that if Hayate could talk to her, he would have asked her, no pleaded for her to stop crying on his behalf. He always said that the best thing about their relationship was making her smile, and he hated it otherwise. He would have urged her to move on, and she had in her small way. But she could not bring herself to stop the tears from falling. Their memories together were among the happiest in her life.

She heard someone land softly beside her.

"You are here again." The person stated the obvious. "I know you love him and all, but I don't think going here this often helps you at all."

Yugao turned to this person. "I just miss him, and going here makes me feel calm whenever I am confused." Tears still brimmed her eyes.

Anko's gaze softened at the sight of her. "Come here." She gave Yugao a tight hug. "We all miss him. No one can ever replace him in our hearts. But this is our truth as ninjas. Even truer, being the elite."

They broke from their hug.

"I wish he's happy wherever he is now." Yugao said with a sad smile.

Anko sighed. "He'd be happier if he sees you happy."

The Kunoichi turned to her, still with that smile, but it didn't seem so sad now.

"I am happy." She replied. "I've got a lot of good people around me." She grabbed Anko by the wrist and dragged her. "Come on, I know a good place where we can eat and talk."

Anko had no choice but to come along.

"Odangos. Again. You are hopeless." Yugao shook her head as she scanned the menu. The restaurant was a good one, it wasn't too pricey, but it wasn't cheap. It could already be classified in the fine dining category and yet, even with the offer to pay for their dinner, Anko still ordered the Odangos from the menu, over priced Odangos. Had she known, she would have just gone to their usual hangout spot. But a change of environment is in order, and there was rarely any shinobi around this joint.

"I'll take the ebi tempura, and some kani salad." Yugao told the attendant. "Can you also add two warm sake with that?"

The server nodded and went to prepare their meals.

Anko raised a brow at her. "Sake?"

"Yeah, it would make the talking easier. Well on your part." Yugao pointed out.

Anko crossed her arms. "He told you, didn't he?"

"I first heard from a different source, but I got the juicy details from him."

Anko slammed her fist which earned her the stares of the patrons of the restaurant. Yugao looked at them apologetically.

"Tch. When I see that Genma, I am going to bash his brains in."

Yugao waived her hands in front of him. "No no. It's not entirely his fault, you see I asked him, to give out the details. He wouldn't have had I not been persuasive."

This made Anko raise her brows again. "Persuasive?"

"You know, persuasive. We are ninja, extraction of information is one of our specialties, we use whatever means necessary,"

Anko didn't miss the sly smile playing on Yugao's lip. She had been noticing things the past few weeks, but she never really asked.

"Whatever means necessary…" Anko repeated. "Is that the reason you were at Hayate's grave today? You were asking him permission?"

Yugao's eyes widened in terror. "What are you talking about? I always visit Hayate's grave."

Anko also didn't miss how ever so slightly Yugao's cheek blushed. It didn't matter. It was about time she moved on, or actually, she should have moved on some time ago. But Genma? She decided it was not her place to judge.

"Whatever." Anko replied.

"I'll talk about it when I am ready." Yugao said. "You know I always do, but enough about that, you are the one with the real problem here. So, did you two talk about it already?"

"It only happened yesterday."

"The earlier you resolve things in a relationship, the better."

Anko again slammed her hand on the table which earned her the same reaction as before. "We are not in a relationship!"

Yugao ignored the people staring at Anko. "Or so you always say." She answered calmly. "Maybe you don't call yourselves lovers, but how do you call that kind of relationship in an ecosystem…" She put her hand on her chin in thought. "Mutualism I think. Mutually benefitting relationship, but looking back now, I think parasitism describes your situation more accurately."

Anko slumped back on her seat and crossed her arms against her chest, like a rebellious 12 year old girl. Yugao just smiled genially at her.

Anko didn't say anything further, pondering if their situation had really been that of mutualism, or had it really been parasitism all along.

Yugao broke her thoughts. "I remember that time, well, after you were found…" Her voice softened knowing how sensitive the topic she was treading. Only once had they talked about this, and it did not end well. "You wouldn't leave the hospital room, even after the doctors said that they had done everything to heal you, physically that is. I always visited you in the hospital room for the two weeks that you were there. You woke three days after you were found, but your eyes were blank. It's as if you don't even see me, your best friend. I always try to touch your hand to reassure you that you were not alone, but you always flinch, as if you didn't want to pass on a sickness within you."

Anko still maintained her slumped position, but her eyes changed from deviance to melancholic. Her brows furrowed deeper as she remembered that time.

She did not speak a word of protest, which surprised Yugao.

"You never even touched your food." Yugao took her silence as permission to continue. "Whenever I visit, I see the nurses take out the food trays untouched, and that the only reason you were alive was because of the IVs that were on you. I really thought that I was going to lose you at that time." Yugao's voice turned to a whisper. "I even heard the doctors say that they already had a psychiatrist talk to you, and heard them discuss how seriously broken you were.

"One day, I found you sitting on the nurses lobby, all smiles and you had an odango in your hand. I was really confused by the sudden change but more than that, I have never felt happier my entire life. I never told you this, but after I helped you get home, I went back to the hospital and asked what happened, why you suddenly changed back to normal. Then I learned that the night before, a young shinobi, they said around 14 or 15 years old came to visit. The nurse said that he was in your room for a good two hours. They didn't ask for his name, but I learned later that his name was Tenzo. I was so surprised to hear that story, especially since I knew how much you seem to detest him. They even went as far to say that this young guy told them that you'd be wanting your Odangos in the morning, which you did.

"After you were discharged from the hospital, you were always talking about Tenzo this and Tenzo that, like he was everything. I really didn't understand what he could have possibly told you to make you want to live on. I felt jealous of course, I was your best friend, I visited you everyday, you never responded, then just one visit from this guy and you were mooning over him. Whenever I asked you, you always shrugged the question off. I also saw that after that incident, when you looked at each other, it's as if you shared an entire world of secrets. I didn't really get it until I learned a few years later, when I joined the anbu and served under him, of what he went through, of how he has something in common with you, something unique only to the two of you."

Yugao looked up from her hands to look at Anko. She hadn't moved one bit since Yugao started telling her story.

"I never really properly thanked Tenzo-taicho for that. I realized then also that he was the only one who could have helped you go through this. Although I still try to figure sometimes of what it was exactly that he told you."

Anko looked back at her. They fell silent for a moment.

Anko exhaled sharply and unexpectedly, she replied "He told me a lot of things, of how his life was, but what really got me going was this; 'live and get better, be better, and fight, so that when the day comes and you face him again, you can fight him as an equal, and make sure no one goes through what you have gone through before. No one deserves this, not you, not me.' That is what he told me, and that what made me decide to move on. I decided I'll show _him_ what he threw away. But we met and fought, I still couldn't stand up against him." She stated as her hand curled tightly into fist.

"You were against one of the legendary three, even Jiraiya and Tsunade together was not enough to stop him. Don't pull yourself down too much."

They again fell into silence while their food arrived. Both of them ate quietly.

"Anyway," it was Anko who broke the silence. "Was there any reason you brought that story up?"

"No reason, I just wanted you to feel miserable." Yugao smiled innocently at her. Anko couldn't help but giggle.

"All jokes aside though," Yugao started, "I reminded you of those events because I couldn't figure for the life of me why it took you both this long to finally recognize your feelings for each other. I mean sure, Tenzou-san is a bit intimidating, especially his past, but I can tell that he is a genuinely good person. I could already tell that from the start."

Anko sat back in surprise. "You are not against it?"

Yugao shook her head gently, a faint smile etched on her lips. "Of course not."

"But Genma and the others –"

"Genma doesn't know anything. You should stop taking advice from that guy."

"Like _you _should?" Anko supplied playfully.

Yugao just smiled and shrugged off the question. "You like him don't you?"

Anko sighed. She already knows the answer to this question but she couldn't really bring herself to admit it. She just nodded once in consent.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go for it. There is no sense going around in circles in this life, not when you can die tomorrow, especially when you can die tomorrow."

Anko took a deep breath. "It's not as simple as that. It's not only the question of if I like him or not, that is obvious. Thing is, I don't think I am ready. Not yet."

Yugao visibly deflated. "How troublesome. Our time is not long, our lives are always on the line, when are you ever going to be ready? Why hesitate? It could have been you or me, or anyone else occupying Hayate's space right now."

Anko noticed how Yugao's hands were clenched tightly when she mentioned her dead lover. Anko couldn't help but be proud and envious of her friends strength. She knew how much they loved each other, that given such a situation, had it been Anko in her place, she didn't think that she can continue living the way Yugao does.

Anko reached out to hold her friends hand, and her fists uncurled and relax.

"I really still miss him." She said. Anko could only nod her head in response.

"You shouldn't waste time." Yugao continued, as they went back eating. "I think any woman would be lucky to have a man Tenzou."

Suddenly, memories from a mission nine years ago came back to Anko, and she was reminded why she stayed away from Tenzo up until recently.

Yugao noticed how Anko suddenly tensed mid-bite, somehow, she got the feeling she knew what her friend was thinking.

"You're thinking about Mission X aren't you?" Yugao's voice lowered an octave. Anko looked up at her face and could see the doubts settle in on her friend's features.

* * *

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